Because lightning always strikes before thunder

At this particular moment I feel incredibly alone.

I am angry and I want to vent but there is no one who wants to listen to me. No one at all. I thought I had friends. But every step of the way this year, I have only found out that people are selfish and they only look out for themselves and the moment they are asked to lend an ear they'll either do it unwillingly and give a fake sympathetic pity-filled consolation or they'll outright ignore you. Only to come back later and say that they weren't ignoring you.

It is just not fair. I don't understand why I need to be this particular kind of person. Okay, so I don't understand why and I'll accept that I need to be this kind of person. But it hurts and I want to take a break every now and then.

Also, I think it's pathetic that people get away with terrible things under the ruse of illness and personality. I don't get away with anything. The moment I do something and someone notices it, I have to hear an earful.

For example, year 6 when Varsha's mom (not even the first time) isolated me during lunch to tell me how I treated her daughter was wrong and bad. But she was of course blind to what her daughter did and so I had to be the big person and suck it up.

And once again it's not fair that someone can get away with being immature and being the one who clearly made the situation what it is now while I'm left behind, stuck with the title of being the one at blame.

I need to uproot myself from this context and completely change the scene.
I need to start singing again. I want to dance again. But dance to my own music.

I need to leave this place. It's only been rotten.

VENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENTVENT

I know that you'll ask me to hold on
and carry on like nothing's wrong
but there is no more time for lies
because I see sunset in your eyes.

~mISsmUSe~